California Dreamy: A Smashing World Cup Opener for the U.S. Men

INGLEWOOD, Calif.—Pretty nifty, yeah? All those goals from the United States soccer team—phew! Does anyone need to lie down on an official FIFA-issued fainting couch? (Only $7,099 per fainting spell, subject to dynamic pricing, no free public transportation to the couch.) 

At the least, Friday’s high-scoring, history-making 4-1 victory over Paraguay should deliver a momentary respite from the clammy tension that hovers over the men’s national team at this ever-controversial, freshly-premiered 2026 North American World Cup.